May 5th, 2008
Dear Maya,
Thank you for writing such a thoroughly sweet and comforting letter. Sorry, I havn’t been able to call- just haven’t been home. Afraid I was upto some regretable drunken antics. I do hope you are not tired of this ‘boy crazy’ phase that I’m going through since you do hear about me bitching about them constantly 
Be patient with me dear, I have some more venting to do.
For the record, I don’t think your way is foolish at all. As much as I tell you to ‘go out there and date’, you have to realize the advice is very much a product of our times. We live in a decade with a mantra of ‘be proactive and you will be successful’. So we might be conditioned to thinking there will be results only if we put some work into it. But over and over again, we hear about how people fell in love when they least expected it. Woman, if constantly dating was the way people met someone worth having a relationship with – online dating sites would be out of business!!
Please do not begrudge yourself for not doing things the “right” way of proactively dating. You stand exactly the same chance as meeting the ‘Mr-Right-For-you’ as someone who dates a lot. In fact, you actually have an edge. You will just be dating this one particular guy and getting to know his quirks as opposed to wasting precious hours obsessing about what to wear, who pays first, what is the normal wait time for sex etc, over guys who are clearly not right for you. One doesn’t need that much time to figure out if someone is compatible. In a lot of ways, active dating life may be fun but it is costly. As you know, I’m one of those silly girls who will give in and buy a new outfit for a first date! It is a waste of time and money, both of which could have been spent enriching lives of others or focussing on one’s career goels, neither of which I’m doing at the moment. You are honestly lucky to have not met the sheer number of badly-behaving men ‘out there’ who are sure to make anyone become jaded- which is why I’ve decided to take a break from dating.
Still, I AM reassured by your letter. It is always encouraging to hear that guys who’d accept all of your sides and with whom you don’t have to fake all the time’ do exist. At the same time,doesn’t it make you wonder- at what point does that actually happen?
a) Does a guy gets to know you with more time and slowly with more time spent, realizes ‘you’ are exactly what ‘he wants and needs’?
Or
b) Does he falls in love you and because of that love, he eventually, with time, accepts all your sides and quirks ?
The more I date, the more I’m beginning to realize that its more likely to be second scenario. I don’t remember if I told you this, but Crazy Ex used be constantly surprised by my geeky side, the party animal in me and how easily I could obsess about X-Men movies, Pride and Prejudice and Bin Jip (for eg.) all at the same time. I am just using me as an example. I do think Crazy Ex continued to give our relationship and me a chance, just because he was so in love from the beginning.
Now, it is entirely possible that he had decided ‘to be in love with a girl who dumped him every so often and made up again’ because he realized it was his last shot at love. The fact remains that he always accepted all sides of me. They do say, ‘love is blind’ after all and it doesn’t matter it that love is due to a lucky meeting of ‘falling into one’s lap’ or a decision.
I’m still not sure- does one fall in love first and takes chances because of that? Or does one take chances and therefore falls in love. I might morbidly fascinated with this style of ‘High Fidelity’ reasonings 
Love,
Lata
